Maryland Scramble Hits The Road

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Like the conductor on Amtrak will undoubtedly say, in an insanely nasal and loud bray as we pull into the station: “Arriving 30th Street Station, 30th Street Station, Philadelphia is next.” The ancestral land of my birth, not to mention my sports obsessions. I’m beside myself with nerdy joy.

And yes, even at my advanced age, there are new things to experience. This will be my very first national convention. Really. I once did a state convention in Connecticut although come on, all due respect and such, but who cares? The most significant thing I can say about that 1982 experience is that I got a six year head start on knowing that Joe Lieberman is a pompous, narcissistic windbag. The rest of the world found that out when he ran for Senate in 1988.

So back to now. Some clearly deranged person who I really hope was off his or her meds approved my request for media credentials for the convention. I’m going to work as hard as I can to make them regret that decision. But bonus for you – I’ll be reporting live from the convention all week, from Monday afternoon to the wee hours of Friday morning.

I’m very much hoping to snag some interviews with important people, like the bartender at the beer stand in whatever godforsaken corner of the Wells Fargo Center they stick us “media” types. Just typing that makes me giggle. Soooo looking forward to all the pursed lips, rolled eyes, and exasperated looks from the uptight “respectable” journalists when they see me acting all “why in the hell are you wearing a suit, dude?” on them. Hahahahahahaha.

Anyway, if you have questions you want answers to, like “what do convention delegates do all day other than drink a lot and act like overgrown college students on spring break?” please go ahead and ask. I’ll try and get you answers if I can. For example, the answer to the above question is “wait, you mean there’s something else to do at the convention?”

Look for lots of fun blog posts. Some of them might actually give you some useful information. But all of them will be designed to amuse, shock, appall and/or entertain you to unheard of levels.

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